Life altering changes ahead!

There's a grand polarity in my character. While one side favors logic, the other favors chaos. Further more, one favors adventure and the other favors security.

Maybe humans are kind of like that, we are like a set of complex scales, our character is defined by how we weigh the different values in our own mind.

Some claim characteristics can be influenced greatly by environment. Perhaps then it isn't so odd that I have had a sense of security that I've dearly preserved. I've had a steady job with a steady income, I've had a close connection to my beloved mother. But all that comes at a pretty high price. I've had to conform more and more every year to society. I've had to bend myself to their rules instead of my own. I've had to sit in meetings listening to sheep, being herded into a comfortable and profitable system for society.

And I can't take it. And no I don't need a doctor to tell me I'm burnt out. Of FUCKING course I am. I'm surprised so many endure this bullshit.

I've talked before about carving my own path. It's meaning has mostly applied to situations that change how you think on a day to day basis.  Today let's talk about carving a path that will change things on a much greater scale.

Some might call me crazy for making a philosophical debacle about something as simple as moving. Let them. We all have different values on scales to consider.

I have to value how much I will miss my mother and my father. How much I will miss my friends, the stars on my sky. How much I will miss the weekly thursday practice or simply seeing familliar faces when I ride the local buss.

I'm moving from the far north of Sweden to almost the edge of the map to the south. To help my brother build his and his fiancés house while I live there (for "free") and focus on turning my artistry into a line of work. This means LOADS of free time for my own projects and it unlocks much easier access to the world. This is an option that my character just can't deny or turn away from. It HAS to be explored. It calls my name.

I fear but a handful of things. I fear what will become of my dear mother, and what will become of my matchup with a local magician. I fear things I have worked hard to build will simply dissapear, like tears in rain.

And so I've asked myself over and over what I value highest. Taking a step forward into the unknown or find comfort in the security I've become a part of. The answer would be simple if I knew I was the only one affected by it. Alas those simple days when all I cared about was myself are long gone. At some point I've realized that a warm heart to touch people is the vessel through which they touch you.

To my friends and family for warming my heart. For bringing me courage to pursue my sense of destiny. I love you, deep and dear. You are eternally with me.

Signed, Mireneye