An update!

Look I know I'm not always around, I'm not always updating you on a daily.. weekly or even monthly basis.

I know I'm lagging behind in telling you your daily: "You are amazing and beutiful". I hope the memes kept you busy telling you those exact things cuz you deserve to hear it. Echoing through the internet. You are just awesome, remember that.

And while I'm at it. I could tell myself the same only.. I don't feel as if I deserve it.

What is this emptiness? Archivements in life do naught if you can not look at them with your eyes and see what good they have done. And to feel inside that all that time, all that practice all that invested energy is appreciated.

Right now I just feel underappreciated is all.

I guess I should look myself in the mirror tomorrow and tell myself that I'm amazing. That I've created this life. That I'm here, alive and kicking.

That 2016 has started out amazingly and looks like it's going to continue to be one helluva year.

But what if tomorrow the mystery still remained and all I see in the mirror when I tell myself this, is a blank face staring back? It's all empty, as if the mirror was empty.

And all I've ever done, never left a dent in the world.

All love I shared. All the things I've learned and tried to pass on. ALL of these thoughts. They will be mere bytes on the internet waiting to be erased by time.

And I will be a mere memory.

And maybe I won't even be a memory worth remembering. Worth thinking about.

Worth a damn thing.

Look, this post came out way darker than expected. That's the beuty of writing. Sometimes the unexpected feelings just come to the surface.

And I actively choose to try to share these, to let people understand that right now in life. I'm a bit frail. I'm a bit sensitive.

You might glimpse my adventure, you might glimpse me being my usual self. But just understand that I have a lot of things going on underneath.

I need to fill this void and empty space with me, myself.. My strength. I know.

Until then understanding and letting me take things slowly is the one way any of you can help me.

If I say I can't hang out, understand I need time. If I say I'd rather stay at home alone. Please understand. I'm also probably a bit sensitive to big changes in my current environment.

Bringing in things that make my day(s) more chaotic or unclear might make me really uncomfortable. But I'm working on it.

I'm on the case.. I'll be fine.

I love you.

Signed, Mireneye