Where am "I"?

Sometimes I wonder where am "I". I mean, me. What do I want, where do I want to go, is it necessary to go.. anywhere? Is it beneficial for me to want? Is the adventure more of a curse of unknown questionmarks?

Sometimes I feel hollow. Like I start to shutdown emotionally because situations around me start to feel empty by themselves. It might be sudden changes that can go from intense moments to almost eerily vacous. Within that space I find insecurity within myself and I start to ponder if it's me, if I'm the problem. And then I think.. Maybe I need to just let go, disappear.

Return to slumber...

Perish the thought! Return to slumber to me is synonomous with locking myself away behind an emotional barrier. To protect myself so I can fully devote all my time to the things at the base of my being.

But no. I've made peace with facing what eats away at my being. I've made a pact with myself that I should no longer shy away from my feelings. To shy away from who I am. Because the base of my being has become so much more. I trick myself believing that I can find solace in simplicity. I need to remember that..

 I'm an artist, I feel, I'm creative, I build. I'm loving, I love.

And I do so, so strongly that sometimes when the hollowness strike I too am covered in darkness instead of light. Where I want to stand strong, I find no strength. It's times like these I seek to others, friends, family, close ones. I might need a tiny something to build from. Hope is something incredibly small that we all can share.

I hope somebody will reach out to me in no specific manner someday and just tell me "You did good". Because damn you all! I did do good. At least that is what I believe.

It's the tiniest things that does it for me. Appreciation, hope, or simply reminding me of who I am. I'm Mireneye, and if I'm ever in doubt remind me that the universe is on my side. This will give me enough courage and energy to start working with myself and get back to my usual rhythm of life.

Signed, Mireneye