Dedicated to Zion

A few months ago I started to seriously hang out with someone. Someone I actually never thought I'd be close to but somebody who I most definietly was interested in really getting to know.

Attraction as it were had other things in mind.

To say "it began" would be to neglect the entire history. But there's two outstanding moments to me that really started to cement this feeling.

One was sharing a movie(Many months prior) maybe I'll talk about that moment some other time, one was meeting at Hamnmagasinet randomly where we decided to hang out later that week.

I was visiting Umeå as by that time I used to live in Malmö so I was kind of on a short rope.
But we setup a day. And I was super excited.

When we met at her home, I think it's after that evening I started to sense a tingling sensation in me.

In any case.

Things went unexpectedly smooth. Next thing I know I was overcome by these profound feelings. Made aware of their prescence.

And now a few months down the line, I'm really enjoying our company. We laugh and have a lot of random fun. Dance, hug, stare into each others eyes for the longest of times and simply get a bit lost in each others company.

And today, it's her birthday. In the middle of a beutiful autumn.

While I personally don't care much for ages. The subject has become quite arcane to me. But to society there's something big going on. It's like suddenly growing an extra limb. The world opens up before you.

And so I wish to celebrate by saying:

I love this person, dare I say with passion.

"I'm in love, with the world at my feet and one foot too deep"

By that I mean to say that I'm head over heels. It's like I'm in a deep trance. You say you don't need drugs because you are drugs. And on this acid trip of awesome that you are on you've brought a passanger.

Me.

I want for you the best of days because you know what? I like you and I think you should have the best.

So today my gift to you is not a thing, it's not physical. But mental, it is more a tribute to all the awesome things we have shared so far and all the awesome things ahead.

I give to you a star. But not the kind you can see in the sky. Neither on the ceiling of my apartment.
I give you a star, It's a place that go beyond meaning and reason. It's a place for special and precious things. This star is a shared space. Whenever you want you can go there to meet me, I'll be there. I'll visit it sometimes to plant new seeds in our intergalactic garden, maybe I'll bring some garlic bread and Mojo Verde. Maybe I'll bring peace of mind.

I give you a star. Because you've become one to me.

-Mireneye

Sometimes I'm afraid

There's a great weakness inside of me. A fear deeply rooted.

It's not so much a fear of loosing something, it's not the fear of not being able to deal with life on my own.

It's the fear of making the same mistake. Over and over. The fear of not learning, the fear of ending up years down the road without having learnt a lesson or two.

It's a very real fear. I feel it gnawing inside of me when I'm at my worst. When doubt take hold of me and when whatever otherwise comforting thought runs off my body like water.

It's the fear of that dark twisted spiral in which I don't know if I'm strong enough to look at, let alone battle.

What can be done? It's one of the few things in life that has me shaken to my core. I'm afraid that even if I'm stronger now, It's not enough because it will always be there in the background. Unless I face it headfirst and defeat it.

If there's a silverlining to this post then it's in these words:

I'm here, I'm writing, I'm screaming inside. I feel silly I feel stupid. But one thing is certain. I have not given up. Giving up is something I was never good at to begin with. So there's only one way to go. I just hope I can soothe my passing somehow as I continue to tackle my inner demon.

Signed, Mireneye

Life efficiency

Ever heard the expression that the simplest explanation is most often correct? 

I hear it from time to time. But never stopped to thing "Why?". Why is it so? Is it so that we like to keep things simple? is it because the avarage human just doesn't think things through and would most likely not analyze the end result anyways and so we see no need to over complicate.

Is it because complications in and by themselves lead to confusion. Confusion leading to misunderstanding. Misunderstanding leading to bad juju.

Is it because if we complicate the required skill to perform the task at hand we set the bar to high.

Yes, yes to all of the above.

Is it because we are lazy? Nope. It's because we like to be efficient. Not everyone, but the avarage human likes efficiency.

Does the theorem then hold that "The simplest explanation is most often correct because it's the most efficient way to archive task X"

Yes, yes I would say so.

What then becomes our reasoning behind complicating life? Why do we spend so much time being inefficient with how we derive pleasure and well being from something as fundamental as being a living, eating and breathing organism?

Heck if I knew. I look at so many people, all over the world making things difficult for themselves. I do it too of course but I try to live simply so that I may simply live and so should you.

Just figure out, what do you actually need to be happy in life. Then decide how to reach it. Set a date. Not tomorrow or next week. An actual physical number.

As you go to sleep let the thought of it burn into your mind. Work towards making it real. Put at least a thought to it every day.

Don't be lazy, be efficient. Find the simplicity of living end enjoy!

Signed, Mireneye

I'm in love, With the world at my feet

I'm in love

I'm in love with a talented someone, a bright someone. A brutally honest but good natured, feet on the ground head in the clouds someone

I'm in love with a voice, a smile a touch

I'm in love with the playful games we play

And the wondrous journey we've walked

The things we've talked


I'm in love

With the curious things you say

And the curiosity we share

I'm in love

Deeply like the oldest stillsome forest

Wildly like a storm on the horizon


I'm in love

With the world at my feet

And one foot too deep


I'm in love

 And damn it feels good

Embrace me universe!

I was going to go to bed. Like four hours ago. I was going but some odd feeling kept me awake. I think a mixture of not getting 100% correct sustenance for the body in combination with a lot of screentime at the computer working on my game is having some secondary effects on me.

I guess emotionally as well there's an immense pressure that I try to manage while just throwing myself out there. Life has always panned out in some way if I just trust myself and bide my time, there's a solution waiting to be found and I'll keep looking around.

But yeah, eight or nine months back I thought I'd never say this but I kind of miss having a job. I don't miss any job per se. And I don't miss the long hours. I just long for a creative job where I can put in about three to four days a week. This longing might be a secondary effect of having no money.
I sire hope not. I don't like to think I'm motivated by money.

What motivates me then? Personal growth and gaining new abileties and experience of life. It's really that simple. Flashing money at my face doesn't work and I'm not going to sell my soul to get there.

I'll keep looking. It's out there somewhere, the greatest solution to my problems. Something that will satiate my desires.

Embrace me universe!

Drawn towards the flame

I'm drawn towards a flame

And I would fear getting burned

And I would fear the light

If not for my mastery of fire
If not for my sense of self

Temptations tear at me, I wanna go wild

But I dance carefully 

Until the time is right
I will unleash the beast inside

The adventure beckons
The light awaits

The world is mine
Not mine to own

But mine to experience

-Mireneye

In the light of fire!

Amazing photoghrapher Zion once again, this time capturing the moment with me after the years first outside bath, in light of fire: http://zionfoto.blogspot.se/2015/05/i-eldens-sken_27.html

Signed, Mireneye