Deep breath...

Take a deep breath and let it go.

It doesn't seem to matter 'what' in my life at the moment. But the only answer I find is to let things go. Just accept that they were there for a fragment of time and are now lost.

Accept that they have taken a form that is beyond me.

Just another deep breath.
One more day, puzzled as to the reason behind my feelings. How on earth did I attract this much negative? People talk about coincidences and chance and fate or higher purpose and meaning. But when all is said and done it should be simple to understand just why this is happening to me right now?

I just want to cry.
A friend of mine called it mentally exhausted.

I try to remember the lesson that I learned in Mexico. How things are always with and never truly lost. The memory is a part of you.

Well..

Bad thing I've got such a horrible mess of a memory. Piece of...
Yeah.

...

Frustration.

Sometimes it's even frustrating to be philosophical and open and bah.. who am I kidding? I'm just tired is all.

And if you read this and you are thinking... with this much negative-ness he is just bound to attract it all over.
Well I got news for you.. I TRIED really hard to be positive. But it just kind of fell flat.. At times I could actually feel it. Even if only for brief moments it kept me going but the battle has left me worn out.

Usually all I need is a small gust of wind so I can flex these wings and fly on my own. Not sure that is going to hold with wings that are torn to shreds, cut off and burnt. Weary of the battle.

I need more time by myself. Just need to endure two more days of work.

Deep breath, let it go - all these thoughs and feelings.
Turn around.

Just one more deep breath.

(NOTE: Realitically things have been better than this document colors it to have been. It is the effect of having my mind currently in a dark place affecting how I see events that has transpired but I have to speak my mind as I see fit to let things come to the surface however grim it may sound, it is how I feel now).