I just feel as if so much is expected of me on so many levels. I'm expected to be a friend, a teacher. I'm expected to be nice and happy because that is the way I always am. Always the optemist.
I'm expected to pay my bills, do the paperwork, look for jobs and keep up a good smile.
I expect of myself to keep giving because that is that is my path. I expect of myself to be creative, be open, be adventurous.
I expect I can take criticism. And that I can turn it into something productive.
And in all this I'm ALSO expected to plan together a flipping birthday for myself. Bleh...
I expect things to be the same, once something is steady, established and strong.. I just want it to be there, so that I too may feel that there is something there for me as well.
But I do also expect change. But not like this. I don't want to be here, I want to be in a productive space, some place where I can have some god damn peace of mind and a breather.
This too shall fall before me and I will conquer my weakness. I'm hanging on the edge extending my hand upwards, I jsut need the strength to pull myself up.
Signed, Mireneye
torsdag 21 april 2016
lördag 16 april 2016
måndag 21 mars 2016
When she wakes up, continuation
When she wakes up, I want her to know that she is special.
I want her to know that when she smiles, the world turns
to her like the flowers leaning towards the sun.
And that when she wakes up, all moody and tired.
It's because she's moving, always forward.
She keeps pushing the envelope of who she is
She keeps pushing the envelope of who she is
and who she can become.
I want her to know, that she's inspirational even in her weakness. That she shows
I want her to know, that she's inspirational even in her weakness. That she shows
herself in ways to me, that excites me and makes me burn stronger.
And if I could decide, I want nothing short of seeing her live life
as she herself choose to live it.
And on this path I want her to know that feeling tired is ok. Feeling
confused, angry, sad, or whichever emotions deep
inside, are ok.
It's ok.
It's ok.
All that there is, and can be.
She should know that on her journey in the moonlit valley.
Her footsteps will never be alone.
Her footsteps will never be alone.
When she wakes up.
-Mireneye
lördag 5 mars 2016
Brutalt fucking kär!
Sometimes life just feels great. Like today. Fuck yeah! I'm in love with life. And I'm just in love in general. Here take my love punch!
It's time to sleep. I love to sleep.. Sleep is like the best thing ever! Until the morning comes, then the morning will be the best thing ever.
Who am I kidding? Morning is never the best thing.
The only thing good about the morning is that it's the start of another opportunity for a new adventure.
A new opportunity to be nice and naughty.
Goodnight!
Signed, Mireneye
It's time to sleep. I love to sleep.. Sleep is like the best thing ever! Until the morning comes, then the morning will be the best thing ever.
Who am I kidding? Morning is never the best thing.
The only thing good about the morning is that it's the start of another opportunity for a new adventure.
A new opportunity to be nice and naughty.
Goodnight!
Signed, Mireneye
fredag 26 februari 2016
Dear candle
The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long.
– Lao Tzu
I see the snow burn. I see the snowlike candlewax melt away. I see it so clearly. How it's becoming a wildfire, almost consuming everything in it's way. But no. It doesn't. With the strength of one heart I see it turning instead, into a bonfire. A radiant light guiding the way for others who walk in darkness, alone and cold.
But sometimes the flame fades, becoming an ember waiting to ignite with passion. From the death of something beutiful something new begins. Always for as long as there is curiosity and passion.
I hope I can feed that passion, that I can stand curious together by the side of the struggling ember. Blowing new winds into the furnace of our shared life.
And when the wildfire comes, the best we can do is to be prepared. And know that it's a sign. It's a sign of a rampant will to become a bonfire. A refuge. Burning strongly, sharing it's warmth with plenty of nourishment to burn brightly.
And you are burning so brightly, dear candle.
But sometimes the flame fades, becoming an ember waiting to ignite with passion. From the death of something beutiful something new begins. Always for as long as there is curiosity and passion.
I hope I can feed that passion, that I can stand curious together by the side of the struggling ember. Blowing new winds into the furnace of our shared life.
And when the wildfire comes, the best we can do is to be prepared. And know that it's a sign. It's a sign of a rampant will to become a bonfire. A refuge. Burning strongly, sharing it's warmth with plenty of nourishment to burn brightly.
And you are burning so brightly, dear candle.
Signed, Mireneye
tisdag 16 februari 2016
An update!
Look I know I'm not always around, I'm not always updating you on a daily.. weekly or even monthly basis.
I know I'm lagging behind in telling you your daily: "You are amazing and beutiful". I hope the memes kept you busy telling you those exact things cuz you deserve to hear it. Echoing through the internet. You are just awesome, remember that.
And while I'm at it. I could tell myself the same only.. I don't feel as if I deserve it.
What is this emptiness? Archivements in life do naught if you can not look at them with your eyes and see what good they have done. And to feel inside that all that time, all that practice all that invested energy is appreciated.
Right now I just feel underappreciated is all.
I guess I should look myself in the mirror tomorrow and tell myself that I'm amazing. That I've created this life. That I'm here, alive and kicking.
That 2016 has started out amazingly and looks like it's going to continue to be one helluva year.
But what if tomorrow the mystery still remained and all I see in the mirror when I tell myself this, is a blank face staring back? It's all empty, as if the mirror was empty.
And all I've ever done, never left a dent in the world.
All love I shared. All the things I've learned and tried to pass on. ALL of these thoughts. They will be mere bytes on the internet waiting to be erased by time.
And I will be a mere memory.
And maybe I won't even be a memory worth remembering. Worth thinking about.
Worth a damn thing.
Look, this post came out way darker than expected. That's the beuty of writing. Sometimes the unexpected feelings just come to the surface.
And I actively choose to try to share these, to let people understand that right now in life. I'm a bit frail. I'm a bit sensitive.
You might glimpse my adventure, you might glimpse me being my usual self. But just understand that I have a lot of things going on underneath.
I need to fill this void and empty space with me, myself.. My strength. I know.
Until then understanding and letting me take things slowly is the one way any of you can help me.
If I say I can't hang out, understand I need time. If I say I'd rather stay at home alone. Please understand. I'm also probably a bit sensitive to big changes in my current environment.
Bringing in things that make my day(s) more chaotic or unclear might make me really uncomfortable. But I'm working on it.
I'm on the case.. I'll be fine.
I love you.
Signed, Mireneye
I know I'm lagging behind in telling you your daily: "You are amazing and beutiful". I hope the memes kept you busy telling you those exact things cuz you deserve to hear it. Echoing through the internet. You are just awesome, remember that.
And while I'm at it. I could tell myself the same only.. I don't feel as if I deserve it.
What is this emptiness? Archivements in life do naught if you can not look at them with your eyes and see what good they have done. And to feel inside that all that time, all that practice all that invested energy is appreciated.
Right now I just feel underappreciated is all.
I guess I should look myself in the mirror tomorrow and tell myself that I'm amazing. That I've created this life. That I'm here, alive and kicking.
That 2016 has started out amazingly and looks like it's going to continue to be one helluva year.
But what if tomorrow the mystery still remained and all I see in the mirror when I tell myself this, is a blank face staring back? It's all empty, as if the mirror was empty.
And all I've ever done, never left a dent in the world.
All love I shared. All the things I've learned and tried to pass on. ALL of these thoughts. They will be mere bytes on the internet waiting to be erased by time.
And I will be a mere memory.
And maybe I won't even be a memory worth remembering. Worth thinking about.
Worth a damn thing.
Look, this post came out way darker than expected. That's the beuty of writing. Sometimes the unexpected feelings just come to the surface.
And I actively choose to try to share these, to let people understand that right now in life. I'm a bit frail. I'm a bit sensitive.
You might glimpse my adventure, you might glimpse me being my usual self. But just understand that I have a lot of things going on underneath.
I need to fill this void and empty space with me, myself.. My strength. I know.
Until then understanding and letting me take things slowly is the one way any of you can help me.
If I say I can't hang out, understand I need time. If I say I'd rather stay at home alone. Please understand. I'm also probably a bit sensitive to big changes in my current environment.
Bringing in things that make my day(s) more chaotic or unclear might make me really uncomfortable. But I'm working on it.
I'm on the case.. I'll be fine.
I love you.
Signed, Mireneye
tisdag 26 januari 2016
A new year, a new adventure!
I guess I havn't actually written much here lately.
Maybe because my life has been busy otherwise. Maybe I just havn't had time to transcribe my world into words for a while.
Between love and ambitions I don't have too much time to just sit down and you know, dictate my daily life.
In any case, hello! Hey! I'm still here, still kicking. I hope you didn't worry about me.
How about I share some news about what's going on in my life, so that I can leave you all with a clear conscience for a few months? Sounds good?
I'll be right back here if something really emotional happens. I usually do!
Here we go, 2016.
*February: I'll be a judging, teaching & perfoming at FAW
*March: I want to go to Stockholm for an event
*Urkult 2016 in August
*I'll be dedicating a lot of free time to work on Dynasthir (Writing the world and making the game)
*I'll be dedicating a lot of free time to practicing Poi, and hopefully more Dragon Staff!
*Keeping a lookout for a suitable occupation, as always
*On a lookout for appropriate dance classes!
*Level up,
*Adventure!
*Pause life to play Dark Souls III
Signes, Mireneye
Maybe because my life has been busy otherwise. Maybe I just havn't had time to transcribe my world into words for a while.
Between love and ambitions I don't have too much time to just sit down and you know, dictate my daily life.
In any case, hello! Hey! I'm still here, still kicking. I hope you didn't worry about me.
How about I share some news about what's going on in my life, so that I can leave you all with a clear conscience for a few months? Sounds good?
I'll be right back here if something really emotional happens. I usually do!
Here we go, 2016.
*February: I'll be a judging, teaching & perfoming at FAW
*March: I want to go to Stockholm for an event
*Urkult 2016 in August
*I'll be dedicating a lot of free time to work on Dynasthir (Writing the world and making the game)
*I'll be dedicating a lot of free time to practicing Poi, and hopefully more Dragon Staff!
*Keeping a lookout for a suitable occupation, as always
*On a lookout for appropriate dance classes!
*Level up,
*Adventure!
*Pause life to play Dark Souls III
Signes, Mireneye
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