Shattered ice

When your under the ice you can't always appriciate everything on the outside. The world might seem bleak or the seasons in your life might seem stuck on a dead and cold winter.

But the moment you break free you realize all the beuty and light that was right there, a bare inch from your very being. It's even been touching you for a long time, just.. you were simply not ready to embrace and act upon it.

But I'm ready. I've been for a good while, just didn't know.. didn't think I was fully entitled to this gift. The greatest gift given by the greatest of friends. The ability and freedom to reach and become anything I truly set my mind to.

What happened to that young and immature boy who's life started somewhere around maybe 16? What choices came his way that sent ripples through his mind that still linger today?

Mariah, without you I think my social shell would have been even more of a disaster. The old memories we share, both good and bad made me grow. And whenever both our parents had their individual issues we had each other. Your priceless, eternal in my memory.

Tommy, we shared imagination we shared fun and games. And we grew up both as misfits, not quite belonging anywhere. Without you I would have been very lonely. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Roger, your very prescence inspired me. Your flamboyant yet childishly playfull style has always radiated within me. You gave me the courage and you gave me the practical tools that would lead me on the long journey that I'm still threading to this very day. You understood me better then anyone and brought me happiness by simplyl being happy yourself. Your such an amazing person and I wish you all the best!

Emil Stenman, for without you the ripples that Roger sent through me would have flattened much sooner. I never stoppped to thank you enough but damn man! you are the very reason I found Poi, you are the reason I started going to raves. My real social debut outside of the small village life started with you! You are eternal in my memory.

Veronica, You are a tricky one. See I was so green when I first met you, so different from what I am today. When I met you the first time on a buss none the less, I could hardly speak to a girl. I was so nervous, crazily nervous. But getting your msn contact, talking to you, starting to feel comfortable with that might be one of the most important things that ever happened to me. We had our ups but of course I was so inexperianced and had no clue how to handle a girl. And I hope I wasn't to much of a drag back then. I had probably punched myself in the face if I saw my old self today. You are a very special person to me.

Because I don't want to miss out on anyone. Here's a shoutout to the collective (and associated people) I lived in for almost two years. It was the most productive and intense time of my life and I've grown so much. Without you I wouldn't have come to Umeå (at least not in the first place). Hugs to all of you!

Nicklas, when I got home from my travels, totally broke and nowhere to live after the fall of the collective you offered me a sofa. Good company and I learned to party like only our family can. I think I learned to let go of so many bad conventions and habits and really got into the groove being with you that it changed me. I'm thankful for those times when we would hunt for cans to get money for milk and noodles. Love you like a brother!

Marica, my first true love. I don't believe I have ever hurt anyone as much as I have hurt you. Never have I loved anyone as deeply either. The time we spent together was filled with life and I learned so many things about people, about relationships, and finally why exes don't get along when feelings get the best of you. When I first met you I was confined inside of a sphere where reality mattered less and my mind was everything but you opened my eyes to a wider and more vibrant world. And for all that we have been through I thank you, sincerely.

These are a selection of the people who have influenced what I am today, in some kind of half-assed chronological order, with some overlaps mind you.

I think the most amazing thing is that even if my past has been filled with amazing influencial people I think right now I have so many people around me who deserve just as much credit. Too many to name.

One day does not pass without me learning something new. or with someone helping me out with something. And I can only thank you enough by honoring your attempts.

And the only way I can do that is by realizing my goals. In a way they are as much your dreams now as they are mine for without you I wouldn't be here.

A heartfelt thanks!

Signed, Mireneye