Sounds wise, yet bullshit.

Earth

Wishes are for people void of reason
Hard work for the ones in possesion of monumental hearts
Together they perfect the puzzle that is mother earth

This kind of crap is stuff I can come up with all day. But I'm intrested. Could you find a meaning behind these words? Because I sure as hell don't understand the point that the words are trying to convey. Either it's really smart or stupid.

I call bullshit.

What is your call?

Maybe if you happen to be smoking something it would make sense?

Signed, Mireneye

Sick again?

This time shit is for real!

Woke up this morning at around nine with a severely sore throat and zero energy. Slept some more, drank some water and now i'm feeling "ok".

My head hurts slightly, my nose is running a fair bit. So what do I do to entertain myself?
Take some pictures.

Here is one of them:


Signed, Mireneye

Return to slumber

I'm sorry.

Sorry that I lost my way. The way of the man I used to be. However I'm thankful that I've been on this wonderful journey.

It was a journey that went stright into my heart but also a journey that ripped it apart ferociously almost mercilessly. For a while I had everything I ever wanted but it only took a slight misstep to put it all in a dark downwards spiral that consumed me almost fully.

I'm lucky that I got out.

Actually luck probably played a very small role. I'd like to think that I had some moments where I was actually acting pretty strong and calm but not many. The absolutely most extraordinary feat was how well my better half played her role. And I will always be thankful for her wisdom.

She entered my life and swept the carpet away from under my feet and I fell. I fell so hard I could hardly control my initial feelings. So eager to learn everything about her and too enchanted by her smile and her being, those wonderful lips. So enchanted that I, even too this day hardly remember a fraction of everything she told me.

And I hoped yet could never believe that she would fall under my spell like she had unknowingly enchanted me with hers.

But she did.
(With some initial scepticism I might add)

And as such began the best spring and summer of my life.

We lived together under her roof, we supported each other. I took care of her in every way I could imagine. She loved me with her ever-so-clever attention to things I say and things I like or want. And my love grew stronger and It's silly but love is a drug. It's indeed so sweet that some people just can't handle it.

And that is also where things started to go wrong. When I meant well but I couldn't see my faults because I was blinded by my own feelings.

It has taken me months to understand. And it's partially because of her that I did. She's my sensei in many things and I can only hope I can be in her prescence to learn from her. In her shadow I have grown more mature and more wise.

The knowledge I gained did not come at a cheap price. It also taught me how cruel and dark the world can be sometimes. It woke me up.

It woke me up to both horrible revelations and beautiful ones at the same time.

Which brings me back to the start of this post. The reason I write is because I feel I really lost a big part of my self in these months that I have become accustomed to emotional and physical loneliness.

The part I lost is the beauty of who I am. The person I was before and while I was in a relationship.

Its time I embraced both of my sides and become whole once again. Welcome the part of me who realized the true face of reality. The awakened. Welcome the loving, caring and understanding and well versed gentleman that I am.

Tonight I feel whole.

I listened to the song linked above to remind me again and again a thousand times to let her have her time and not too contact her. Too me it symbolizes letting my feelings rest and letting my mind rest from having thoughts of her.

And like I agreed with her I return now, to slumber, awaiting Thursday.

Signed, Mireneye

The spirit on the inside

This is a recap of a wonderful weekend.

Switching around my work schedule enabled me to go to the event I had planned weeks ago, the clubnight Tompe le monde.

After leaving work and coming home i switched into topgear and started hyping with music, taking a shower anddressing up for the night and making sure everything was perfect. Then I made my way swiftly to the pre-party at a friends house on the other side of town. We had some fun with drinking games and laughed. I used my mental intuition to get an edge in the game however the other smart players were great competition and I think in the end it was a pretty even game.

When we arrived outside of Tromp le monde, the two of us me and one of the guys who were at the pre-party climbed over the fence. Because it looked like a fun thing to do then we proceeded to the area where they let people inside.

Beeing on the list (thanks to Skäggulken himself) me and my friend were let inside no problemo. The most curious thing was that my friend was just accepted without further ado. Really neat.

Inside I went into party mode! Talked to lots of girls, haf lots of fun. One girl recognized me from Subway where i had commented on the sandwhich she was getting for herself. Sweet girl, wonder if I will meet her again someplace, sometime. Umeå is big, but it aint that big.

I went outside to say goodbye to some friends and then I was not allowed inside again. WTF? 25-30 minutes left and I can't come inside? I didn't appear that drunnk to them I'm certain of that. More people were also getting rejected. However when one of the guards moved away to do something else I snuck in anyhow ^^ I'm so evil sometimes.

When the night was wrapping up I was dancing around before the dj booth and hung out a bit with a girl who is also like me a fire/light/contemporary circus artist. Crazy ^^ I could really feel in my body afterwards that I party hard.

The night ends with me feeling pretty damn whoozy walking without a real idea if I'm walking in the right direction. But hey? I'm always able to find my way home. After a while my head clears up enough and I contact some friends. One of my drivers has already made her way home and I'm kind of down to the only option for me. Which is walking.

Another friend was able to pursuade me into taking a taxi to her place so we could both get some food. At this point I realized that I hadn't eaten today because I had been so focused on planning for the night that I forgot. So food sounded like an excellent idea.

Had a real pleasant talk, ate really good food. Got hit in the head with a frying pan. The usual stuff.

After that there aint much more to tell. I spent the night there, sleeping for an hour before I had to wake up and go to work. Haha. A plan of my own awesome design.

After a day of work I could finally come home realizing.. damn. Now that I'm free from work, I'm getting sick. Coughing and feeling really sore in my body.

And that's what I've been feeling all day. Only now letting up a little bit.

Signed, Mireneye

Enduring

It is not only the share brilliance of the story in Planescape: torment that enthralls me. It's also the true and awesome things that the characters say.

Tonight it fits so well.

"Endure. In enduring, grow strong" - Dak'kon

Not like this dude who you may know from some fairly unknown video game:


Another funny quote from Planescape:
"
Nordom: Attention; Morte. I have a question. Do you have a destiny? A purpose?
Morte: Is Annah still wearing clothes?
Nordom: Affirmatory.
Morte: Then the answer is yes.
"

Speaking of which... What do you endure?

Signed, Mireneye

The calling

In each and everyone of us there is a calling.

Some people are charcoal waiting to ignite with passion, some people are already in flames.

Tonight I feel refreshed. Refreshed yet tired. I have a bunch of ideas in my head and I have to start somewhere. So please remind me to write a list tomorrow. It's late here and I have a slight headache from tension in my neck so don't want to go too deeply into this.

But at least "The calling" is happening soonish. Travelling is something else I'm gonna try to focus on (because I need it like oxygen).

Some loose words just so that I won't forget... Hyperlights, photoshoot, cleaning Casa de la Mireneye, check of some things on my list at home, breathe...

(inhales... exhales)


Signed, Mireneye

Hyped!!!

Tonight i'm on fire.

Wanna do stuff so that's what I'm doing. Planning the next epic partalicious party at my place. "The calling".

Been thinking outside of my routines, breaking out into unknown territory. It's time I stepped out again, time to experiance new things and partially that is what I've been trying to do all this time.

The difference is the sense of attatchement.

I felt I had moved on yet I was still mentally, emotionally attatched. However that bond has now become a void. Attatchments like that hold me down and I'm to much of a free soul to be held down by my own emotions. They need to run free, be on fire and sometimes burn me. It's their nature.

I'd like to go out and meet some new faces, connect with new people.

I'd also would like to fall in love; But somebody told me not to look for it and it would come my way so I'll be trying that one out ;)

At a time all I could focus on was to do new things to fill my days with meaning. But nowadays I would almost like to lie down and rest or simply be, this is a good thing. I'm becoming more balanced, more stable.

Finding my balance on this huge spherical ball of madness.

And I leave you with human stupidity:


Signed, Mireneye