Calm my mind, please?

Had two terrible days.

First I oversleep my wednesday so that I totally missed out on cleaning Casa, I did however enoy lunch with my dad and the meetings that day went fine, mostly.

Except one detail that has really come to color my mind a tint of black.

I can't seem to get it out of my head and amongst the angst of missing somebody there is the anger, the anger that she left me so easily. Moved on so easily. Never gave it a proper chance... All so easily it seems.

I met my old flame to tie some loose ends, material things. We talked, got into tiny arguments over small things, stuff that were so easy to simply laugh and have fun with is now as easily blown out of porportions in a bad way.

When we walked away from the store she ran over happily as ever to hug a common friend amongst us. Mentally the picture hit me like a sledgehammer, mercilessily reminding me of a time where she would jump into my arms quite like that. Instantly everything came back but I responded not with regret, not with tears. I became angry, I wanted to just... I don't know. I kept my fury to myself until I got home later that day. And since then I've just been in a bad mood and luck is no longer on my side it seems.

Alone in the night, nobody caring. Not a soul. Moody as hell. Knowing that the entire world has been through similar things help very little, this is my life and I'm not fucking feeling that well atm.

Just simply angry and lonely. I wish somebody could calm my mind. I know one person who might, but I fear talking to her. She should not carry this weight.

But I also fear I'm to weak to carry it by myself.

Calm me.

Signed, Mireneye